The unfortunate part about having an opinion is that it may offend, irritate, hurt, upset, or infuriate someone else. In the wonderful world of the internet it is very easy to infer that someone is being rude or offensive when the words may be expressed with the best of intents. SO, in an age when technology seems to dominate our relationships and communication what exactly is a person supposed to do to avoid this? The little smiley faces seem to belittle any serious comments and demean important information. I mean how seriously can you take  a message of stern warning followed by a :  ) ?

I have watched my teenage daughter AGONIZE over a text she receives, trying to determine if he/she is mad/sad/being mean or kidding. AGONIZE. I have certainly been on the receiving end of emails that left me questioning the intent. And in all honesty I have probably sent a few that may have been misinterpreted a time or two. I have spent entire DAYS trying to determine if I should be mad or elated.

After GREAT thought I have come up with an answer-PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL! Do not agonize another moment whether or not your friend is mad, your Mom is sad or if your husband is kidding. Listen to the inflection in their voice and your answer will be found immediately.

Consider this a public service announcement for the holiday season when emotions and blood pressures seem to run just a little bit higher than usual. :  )

The most amazing thing happened to me today! A complete random act of kindness that still makes me a bit teary-eyed when I think about it. I received a phone call this morning from my local Wal-Mart. Curious as to why they would be calling I answered and was astonished when the lady said with a quiver in her voice that a stranger had come in and paid off the remaining balance on my layaway account. There was a $1.00 balance-could I afford that? I was astounded! Are you kidding? Really? WOW!

I hurried to get the gaggle of kids in my house-there are always a few extra-and we headed over to Wal-Mart. I went back to the layaway and there was a lady in front of me who had received the same phone call! She was so excited and waited patiently while the clerks shuffled around trying to figure out how to close out already paid balances and finding our items. After she took her items and wiped away a few tears I handed over my receipt with excitement and a bit of hesitation with the brief thought that maybe it was all a joke.  It took about twenty minutes for everything to be resolved and I was soon walking out of the store with my two items-let’s just say they are electronics since my daughters may read this-having paid $11 of the $90 total. I resolved to pay it forward over the next few days.

In reality the layaway items were supposed to have been picked up yesterday so I was just relieved they hadn’t put them back! I was quite giddy as I strode to my car and hid them with the stealth of a ninja so my girls wouldn’t see them in the back of the car. My sense of elation lasted for several hours! Wow! My daughters got caught up in the moment and bought some toys and slippers to donate to the local shelter with their own money. I piled a few extra things in the grocery cart and we chatted about how we wanted to pay it forward.

After shopping for a bit and then an hour at the grocery store my crew of four kids and I finally piled the last bag into the house and I was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt about the whole thing. I mean, I was going to pay for these two items anyway-I felt terrible that perhaps the money used for my two items could have paid for someone who really needed it-who could not afford it. I sat in my kitchen for quite a while staring at the groceries that I had just bought and cried. My oldest daughter  wrapped her arms around me and told me to stop crying and think about it-it was a blessing and a reminder to be generous. Out of the mouthes of babes huh?

She is right though. I think that God blesses us in so many ways-some more obvious than others-as reminders to be kind and generous with others. We should all remember to pay it forward, regardless how small the gesture. I intend to do just that-every chance I get. Now if we can just remember to do that ALL year! I know that the kind gesture of a stranger this holiday season has certainly left a lasting impression on my heart this Christmas season! I hope and pray that the gestures we make help to make others feel just as wonderful!

Just a little FYI-the Northwest Daily News did a quick online story about what happened at the Wal-Mart in Destin! Check it out!

http://www.nwfdailynews.com/articles/good-46114-layaways-outstanding.html

So I know this is not really in keeping with the spirit for the holiday but an odd thing happened to me the other day. Now I am not really used to keeping my opinion to myself when it comes to politics, recipes, love, religion and friendship. I relish discussing the issues of the day and the passions of the hearts of others and honestly I often times disagree with them. But I feel quite strongly that a certain level of respect is required when discussing volatile issues-which as we all know can be, well, just about anything these days. There is of course the unfortunate moments when the person I am having the discussion with, be it in real time or in the magical world of the internet, and I just can’t see eye to eye. It is in these moments that I either offer to agree to disagree or simply suggest that we change the subject. We thankfully live in an amazing country where we have the absolute right to our own opinions-even when they are wrong, offensive or idiotic. I am eternally grateful to our forefathers and if we are honest most of us very much take this for granted on a daily basis.

For the first time in my life I had a friend, or rather who I thought was a friend, decide that my opinion was so wrong that there was simply no middle ground. Regardless of suggestions to simply agree to disagree, this person chose to continue what turned into a rather heated discussion instead of just letting it die. Interestingly enough the topic was my church or rather my faith. Christianity was a cult this person suggested and then proceeded to insult my parents, my husband, my pastor without really knowing anything about any of these people or my church. It was a rather relentless attack and frankly a bit unnerving from someone I had known for most of my adult life. It made me feel violated and for a lack of a better word freaked out. Somehow just a few days before Christmas it seems to bother me even more. 

Now I am not of the simple mindset to think that everyone in the world is Christian. Having been married to a Jewish man for the last almost twenty years I am well acquainted with the vast variety of religions and many many flavors of Christianity. Atheists in my experience have been fairly non-combative when it came to discussions about religion. But this absolute attack on Christianity as a whole cut a bit deeper than the normal argument. The sad part is I will never know why the venom towards our faith runs so deep as my husband & I chose to break off our relationship rather than continue the discussion-our decision resulting from some rather abrasive comments from our former friend. 

This is of course the problem with our world today. Too seldom are we willing to extend the olive branch-choosing to be right rather than to be polite. It is unfortunate that much more pressing issues than where I go to church will be resolved in much the same manner by our elected officials. I will have to resolve to be a better person-and extend the olive branch once -my blood pressure goes down. 

My oldest daughter is turning fifteen years old. It has flown by and been a lifetime all in one up to this point. Her birth forever changed my life as it does for a majority of people when they have their first child. I loved being pregnant-I was blissfully happy and hungry the entire time and my husband indulged my every craving. Then my sweet, precious girl was born. She made her appearance in a very leisurely fashion on October 22, 1992 at 7:19pm. She was  8 lbs., 9 1/2 oz, 22 1/2 inches long.  At that very moment I went from a rather carefree, very liberal-minded working woman to a worried parent suddenly obsessed with germ-x and with the types of food dye used in yogurt and sterilizing everything in my house.(I actually boiled her bottles instead of putting them in the dishwasher. Yes, I was nuts!)

My nuttiness is humorous now but when she was little it was not so funny. My anxiety over her safety brought on all kinds of strange behavior-I was talking in my sleep and even worse I was sleep walking. I had never done this in my life! I would wake up in the kitchen or at the top of the stairs. One time I woke up trying to push my husband out of the bed looking for my baby. I made my parents put a life jacket on her when she was at their house out of a deathly fear of her falling in the pool two stories down in the backyard. Before she could walk.  I finally went to my doctor in hopes of finding a miracle cure for my anxiety and he put it in very simple terms-”You are a Mom and you are going to worry.” No miracle cure was currently available and as far as I know none has been found.

I stopped sleep walking after a few months mainly because I was physically exhausted and fell into a coma instead of actual sleep when given the opportunity. Over the years my anxiety did dissipated and I learned to just enjoy being a Mom instead of worrying all the time. I no longer sterilized everything and germ-x was not required when you walked into my house. My concerns for my beautiful daughter these days unfortunately can not be warded off by hand sanitizer. I am thankful that she seems to have the confidence, the self-esteem and the intelligence to handle many of the scary things I worried about so much when she was little. I am not naive though and know that the years ahead hold much more intimidating situations than that of the school yard or a germ infested public restroom. Boys, school, jobs, college and a plethora of other life challenges lay before her.  And I will be there-kleenex and chocolate ice cream at the ready-to help her get through them all.

This morning while I was dragging myself out of bed I heard the financial reporter on the Today Show state that 50% of all Americans make $25,000 per year or less. Granted I was a bit bleary-eyed but this caught my attention immediately. Really? $25,000 per year? I made more than that when I was twenty-two working my first assistant management job. How could that be true? Even more, how in the world can someone, much less a family, survive on that much money?

$25,000 per year averages out to just over $480 per week before taxes. Yes, people making this amount of money will get the money back when they file their taxes but initially it will come out of the paycheck.  You figure that would be around $120 at a 25% tax rate leaving $360 left over. $1440 per month total income. WOW. Housing is pricey and would be a minimum of $800 per month here on the Panhandle for a small apartment not including utilities. Add another $300 for phone, power, water and perhaps basic cable.   Gas is high at about $3.45 right now-to fill the tank of an economical car that holds 13 gallons of gas would be $44.85- do that once a week and it comes to $179.40 per month. That leaves $160 for food, healthcare, and miscellaneous expenses. No entertainment. No clothing allowance. No savings. No tithing for church. Or money for childcare for a single parent.

When I was making $25k a year it was a very different time. Gas was under $2, my rent was cheap and my healthcare was paid for by my employer. That is simply not the case anymore. It is not a reasonable income for someone living by themselves-maybe with a roommate or two. But for a family? Or a single Mom? It is no wonder that applications for food stamps and Temporary Assistance for Needy Families-better known as welfare-have increased over the last three years. The average food cost has gone up 27%! $160 per month will not go far….

Being frugal is definitely a plus these days and there are people who are quite good at living on a bare minimum. But should living in poverty be the new American Dream? A chicken in every pot seems far-fetched at $25,000 per year. Home ownership seems even further away.

I think that I will call the local food bank and see what they need the most right now. Perhaps we all should. When you look at these numbers the mission of the Occupy Wall Street movement seems even more appealing. The divide is getting bigger-what are we going to do about it?